Perhaps, more than a million songs heard. A thousand books and comics read. Hundreds of movies, TV shows and theatre plays watched. A great number of acquaintances turned friends. A couple of heartaches, pains and glees. Countless stories and poems that mirrored the soul's sentiments. Many laughs and a lot more smiles. Awesome memories. Emotional and intense encounters. Cheesy lines. Unforgettable blunders. Numerous soft-drinks, beers, intoxicating liquor and other spirits. Bottomless iced teas. Reckless busses and jeep rides. 3 decades. 33 years. A roller coaster life ride. Dark and colorful. Ambitious yet laid-back. Personal, and yes.. unimportant. Loud but shy.
How do you count the days? By the minute and seconds passed? By the good and bad deeds done? By the fuck or love scored? By competitions won? By what?
How many streets do I walked and spit on? How many TV stories, segments and concepts that I wrote contributed to Pinoy's bobofication? How many cigarettes smoked and was lighted the reverse side? How many times that I cried, saw the darker side of life and feel cheesy and mushy? How many times I dream a dream but efforts futile and attempts short? How many times I tried but failed.
Perhaps, humans as philosophical-existential being always asked the fundamental questions of "where from" and "where to" and the more ethical "why". That we will always be an "unfinished project" asking for more. And perhaps it is the beauty of it for if we feel otherwise, we can end our lives like that notorious phenomenal brand in Japan that says, "I am so happy I want to die".
The definition of "youth" and being young is unclear, at least in the perspective of me. Or maybe that being vague is some sort of self-proclaimed interpretation to suit the self. Chiz Escudero and Barack Obama's political stance embodies the youth voice. Young millionaires of the youtube fame and facebook are not teen-agers. And so on and so forth. Is it the voice, personality and the spirit more than the physical obvious? What is the demarcation line that separates and categorizes things? Well, maybe there is none and the subject is pointless for there is no gender, color or race, age, religion, political affiliations, titles, etc. Borderless. Timeless. Nameless. One has to be where one is at. The time being. And there goes a favorite line, "Today is a gift. That is why it is called - the present."
How do we count the days? By the happy memories we always want to look back or by the things we've done wrong now embedded and unforgettable? By the persons we laugh with or by the persons we badly hurt? What do we favor more.. Looking back in nostalgia or anticipating the future?
Call me a foolish romantic of things abstract. The vision coddler but of unhurried drive. I may say the apologies to all that's been hurt and still hold grudge to all that screwed me up. While this day is just another day of working my ass to survive the wild and amusing world, I am in no hurry to see the future, same way that I am in no mood to wallow in wantonness or be nostalgic about the past. Some friends asked me if I'm okay. I said Im kewl. And fuck! What the hell is this for? And should have the title -- How to write nonsense! Indeed, this is. What a bore!
